Runny nose

Ok I never thought I'd see the day that a runny nose worries me. For most kids, runny noses are a common thing. Runny noses are just a part of childhood. What worries me is that of Keian gets a runny nose he starts to choke and then throws up. Then he aspirates on the puke. Not fun and not nice. Is it a sinus infection? No its just the common runny nose. Keian is just having problems with swallowing increased secretions. He may grow out of it and he may not. I just have to keep the suction machine handy.
On another note we have applied for respite care. It may be a while to get it but eventually we will. That would give us some needed breaks and get us some rest every once in a while.

Its been a while!

It's been a while. Ok ok I know. I need to keep this thing updated especially since I am trying hard to spread the word about Keian's condition. Keian currently has been suffering from pnemonia off and on. We need to be careful about feeding him anything by mouth when he is sick. The good news is that his g-tube is beg enough to handle baby food when mixed with water. The bad news is that the little booger LOVES food. He dances when ever he gets food in his mouth. Poor guy can only have a taste or two of food.

Keain and his blood sugars

So we are in the hospital again. We finally found the cause of Keian's sezuires and blood sugar problems. We got admitted yesterday to Children's Hospital in Seattle. They wanted to force Keian's blood sugar to go down and then take a bunch of blood to do tests. The poor kid was a pin coushion last night, getting poked every half hour for 17 hours.
The doctors have determined that Keian makes too much insulin. What does this mean for him? The short story is that Keian will have to take medicine the rest of his life or possibly a surgery to remove part of his pancrease. We need one last test before they decide on this but they are starting him on the oral medication first.

It's been a while!

Ok it's been a couple months. Mainly because I haven't felt much like doing anything I enjoy for a few months. I asked my doctor to change my medication because I was getting so down. I'm feeling better and the family is doing well! Here is a little video of Keian I thought you all might like! He LOVES football!

Night time comes with a vengance for me. It is a lonely time. It is full of thoughts of what didn't get done today and what needs to be done tomorrow. What can wait until later, what should be done next. I feel like I am trying to keep my head above water to get pushed back down from the reality that I am only one person trying to do the job of three people. I know I have only made it this far with the Lord's help. I have only made it this far because I have asked for help. I am tired and I am weary. I am anxious and I am lonely. I am trying so hard and failing. I need more hands, I need more brains, I need more, I need. I don't even know what to ask for in help because nothing seems to be helpful. I am grateful that everyone wants to help. I am tired of being strong and I am tired of holding it together. I want to hide. I want to run.
My husband asked me tonight if I had one day alone, no kids, no reponsibility what would I do? I just don't know. I just don't know what to enjoy, I don't know where to go. I have no good friends any more to spend time with, I have no hobbies, I slowly am loosing myself in a world of uncertainties.

A seat for Keian

Thanks to Grandpa we have gotten a chair of our own. This chair came with a wonderful toy that Keian really loves. Thanks Grandpa!

10 things you may not know about me

1. I have this thing about people reading over my shoulder. I hate it! You can read what I wrote, I don't care just don't do it over my shoulder.

2. I hate sharing drinks even with my husband. Yeah I know I kiss the guy full on the mouth but it just grosses me out to share a glass or a bottle of something.

3. I have this fear of vampires in my closet. I have ever since I was a child. As an adult I know they are not real but every once in a while I have a dream about one in my closet and wake up all scared.

4. I have no feeling in my middle toe on my right foot. I also do not have the reflex of when you hit the nerve in your ankle and it is supposed to jump. Ever since I herniated a disc in my back I have had these things wrong.

5. Sometimes I dream of going to India to study yoga and meditation for a month. I know this will not happen until my children are grown and may not happen at all but it is still a dream of mine.

6. It would not bother me to give up watching TV but it would bother me not to have the internet. I feel connected to the world through the internet.

7. I do not believe in global warming. I think the earth goes through phases. It went through and Ice Age and it warmed up. It rained for 40 days and it dried up. I think the world is going to warm up and the earth will catch on fire all over the world.

8. I tend to think that most people are stupid. They get all upset over nothing and bent out of shape over nothing. In the big scheme of things holding grudges and being mean to people only comes back to bite you in the ass. Forgive and forget...It may not be easy but doing it makes your life easier.

9. If I could change my life and do things over again the only thing I would change would be to finish school early.

10. I have a thing for Sylvester Stalone. He was hot in the Rocky movies!