Stress

I am dealing wonderfully with stress. All I can say is that vitamins help! These days my life seems to be all about stress. I have a 7 month old baby that has a rare genetic disorder. I have a 3 year old daughter who is starting preschool in a couple weeks. I am fighting with my ex husband for visitation rights for my 8 year old son. My ex doesn't want me seeing him. My husband got hit in the head with a 40ft steel beam 10 years ago and is dealing with anger and depression issues realted to a close head injury. Not to mention his back wich hurts him all the time. I have stress in my life! The one thing that has been helping me though is knowing that I can manage it all.
My husband asked me this morning why I can't stay angry at people. I told him it takes so much more energy out of me and that my energy is better served being kind and forgiving to people. It is true. Being angry takes so much more energy that letting things go and and getting on mith my life.

Here is a link about the proceedure Keian is having in conjuction with having a Gtube placed in his stomache. This should answer many questions some of you may have. They tell me with as small as Keian is and the many problems that are ongoing with him he will definately have to stay 5 days instead of 3. They want to make especially sure that he is ok to go home home over the moutains.
http://www.webmd.com/heartburn-gerd/Fundoplication-surgery-for-gastroesophageal-reflux-disease-GERD

The last two days have been crazy!! Last night I got a call from Keian's pediatrician. She told me they were cancelling the procedure they had scheduled for Tuesday because I had an appointment in Seattle and they may end up doing the needed surgury for the Gtube right away. I had 14 hours to find a way up to Seattle as no one called to tell me that the appointment had been moved up.
So we went to Seattle today. I want to thank those that helped out! I would not have been able to go if it not for all of you.
We scheduled surgury for September 14th. I will need to spend 5 days in Seattle. We are also having a proceedure done that will keep Keian from Refluxing anymore. They will turn his stomache around the esophagus. This will keep him from bringing anything up.

Well I got some good news from my doctor today! We found out that Keian can have his NG tube pushed down into the small intestine until we can get the surgury done! This is good new as we won't have to worry about aspiration as much. We will be doing the proceedure tomorrow as needs to be done under x-ray so they know where to place the thing. I am also leaving for Seattle next week. I am hoping they will be able to do the surgury right away. It would definately be a blessing if it all worked out that way.

I am very thankful for my memory today. God has blessed me with an amazing memory. Some days it seems shot and I have a hard time recalling people's names. However when I can recal details of things that have happened nearly 18 years ago, I know it is a blessing from God.
Keian seems to be doing better today although I can tell the reflux is a bit of a problem. We have an appointment in Seattle on September 4tth for a consultation on the Gtube. we already decided on it and I think it is ridiculous that they won't schedual the surgury now so I can plan for it. I am going to try to have the surgury done the week of the 17th since we have to go up again for more appointments. Hopefully this tube will fix all the problems the NGtube is causing and we can stay out of the hospital from now on.

Well if you did not know we were back in the hospital. We are now home and everything is fine. However Tuesday morning scared the bajebies out me and Lee. Keian Aspirated at about 3 am. I heard him and immediately got up and started suctioning him. He usually recovers on his own and everything is usually fine. This time was different. I had to give him mouth to mouth breaths because he was not breathing. We called an abulance but luckily before they got there he was doing better and breathing on his own. I'm so glad I took CPR training for infants even though it was like 18 years ago. I took it as a teenager when I was babysitting regularly. My school offered a babysitting class that included infant and child CPR. I never thought I would ever have to use it let alone on my own child. I know the Lord was with me giving me the hints on what to do becasue I can't believe I was so calm through it all. I think I was more scared when Keain was having seizures from low blood sugar. The doctors are agreeing with me that we need to get his GTube done right away. Keian's pediatrician is trying to get it pushed through as soon as possible. He does so much better without the tube in his nose as far as aspiration goes but it will be at least 6 months more before he can totally sustain himself with solid foods. He is now 11 lbs 1 oz wich is wonderful, but he needs to be 13 pounds before they really want to push the solid foods. If he continues the way he has with growth over the last three months it is going to be 6 months before he gets there. That is just too long to have that tube down his nose. Plus we want to do it before cold and flu season or else we will definately be stuck at home all the time. I want to tell Granny and Mom thanks for all the help with Jessica. It has been nice having my mother here to help out. I wish you were in town more often. I can't wait for my sister Lisa and her husband to get here. We all have missed them and are looking forward to the big get together next week. Well all for now, I'm going to spend some much needed time with Jessica.

Grandma comes today!!!!! We are very excited to be having my mother visit. This is the very first time that she will get to see Keian in person.
Keian is doing very well lately although we are keeping him away from people as much as possible until he has his gtube put in his stomach. We don't want any colds and we are washing our hands like crazy.
We want to congratulate our friend Jean on going to the temple for the first time on Saturday. We are all so proud of you!!! I wish we could have been there.
Well all for now. We have lots to get done today.

Sorry it's been a while! My father has come to visit and it has been wonderful getting some one on one time with him. Normally I have to fight my other brothers and sisters for attention. Not that we actually fight...hehehe. Anyway Keian has been doing well although we are still battling reflux and aspiration issues. I think a permanent G-tube is our best solution and to have it done before October.
I am looking forward to my mom and sister comming to visit soon. Hopefully we will get a sister's night out and get to spend time without the kids.

Things are looking up! Yeah we finally got the test results of our emergency room visit this past weekend. The bladder infection is gone and not back!!! That's good. Nothing grew on the culture they took so I don't have to keep Keian on lots of antibiotics. He only will get one dose now instead of two. May be it was just the shots that gave him duch a high fever but it should not have been that high. I'm glad I took him in anyway to be on the safe side.
I want to thank who ever it was that left cookies on the door the other night! What a great little treat for the kids. They were so excited that we have a pixie leaving little gifts for them at the door. They really loved opening the door to find only cookies and no one standing there. The devoured them in minutes!
So Lee and I have decided that we want to get Keian a permanent G-tube put in. He has had so many problems just with having a cold I think it may be for the best. I don't really want to put him through it but I'm thinking it may be better for him in the long run. I think it may be at least 6 months before he will get totally off of formula as his primary source of nutrients. From the sound of the physical therapist it probably will be a while before he can coordinate sitting on his own without support.
I can't believe he is almost 7 months old. These past months have gone by so quick! My hope is that he will grow stronger and eventually be a normal boy. We joke around that he is our little Pinocchio. Yesterday we had a counselor visit our home. Lee really isn't in to it but I really hope he can embrace the support that is there for him. He is finally doing better with the stress but I have to admitt that the stress has gotten better too. I really liked the counselor myself. Her name is Kayla and she is expecting her first child. It was really nice to just talk to someone who wanted to listen to all of my ramblings. Yeah I know she's paid to listen but its been a while since I've done any therapy and it was nice to hear that I'm just a normal mother with normal fears for her child and everything I'm going through isn't ridiculous. In other words I'm not mentally messed up and shouldn't spend years in therapy to get over something. Sometimes I've wondered if I'm slowly going crazy or if its just the stress.
On another note I found out I am severly lacking in vitamin B. I also found that this could be the cause of a lot of my problems. I did not know that it would cause enemia and aches and pains from lack of oxygen from the anemia. I have started on a strict vitamin regimen. I should see results within two weeks. If not its back to the doctor for me for shots. I'm not expecting to be totally pain free as a lot of my back pain is from athritis in my back but maybe I wo't be feeling so tired all the time anymore.

The antibiotics are working. Keian no longer has a fever. Although he is teething and I'm sure in pain from that. He is drooling like a dog lately. Yesterday was nice to go to relief sociaty. There was so much comfort in being with friends and it felt like family.
We had a lesson on adversaty which was really a needed thing for me to hear. The one thing that stuck out in my mind is that the gospel is a resource when adversaty strikes. This is so true! There is so much comfort in knowing that the Lord truely is on your side and that no matter what Keian will be ok.
I spent the rest of the day resting as dad took care of Keian for me. I needed the rest! I feel much better and ready to face the week ahead. Tomorrow we go to Seattle for and EEG and to see the endocronologist. An EEG is a neurological test and the endocronologist is for his blood sugar dropping. We are leaving very early in the morning this time. We have to be on the road at 4am so I will be going to bed early early tonight because I am taking first shift in driving.

Its 4am and I can not sleep after a trip to the emergency room and diet doctor pepper to keep me awake. Keian woke up with another really high fever. We found out his bladder infection is back. He never should have been put on amoxicillin. Anyway at least he dosen't have to be hospitalized over night. We started him back the original antibiotics he was on and are giving him tylenol for the fever. They want him to go into the clinic on Monday to follow up however I think since we are going to Seattle on Tuesday they will let it slide for the time being. I will just follow up with the doctor over the phone. On top of everything else I really don't want him exposed to another cold or something if we can help it. Well since I'm starting to get tired I might as well try to get some sleep to keep myself going.

Yesterday we went to see the doctor. Time for 6 month shots. I also discussed with Keain's doctor about flu season comming and getting flu shots. This will be the first time for flu shots. I need to have one as well as the kids. I also found out that Keian will be given a series of vacines for RSV this year. The cost is astronomical!!! I'm so glad that he qualifies for the state insurance because his doctor bills have got to be horribly high. This vaccine for RSV is $800 for one dose. Keain will have to have it once a month from December to May!!!! I guess it takes a lot of paperwork to get this vaccine and I'm thankful the doctors are the ones that do it.
Last night I was able to get out of the house for a few hours with a friend. We went to Outback and got their sinful sundaes. Let me tell you they are SINFUL! Then we went shopping for some things at Walmart. Although I was doing errands most of the time it was nice to just get out with no kids and have some adult conversation.

The 16 and 17 year old girls came to our house last night and cleaned! Boy what an improvement in our spirits around here. They were such sweet girls too. It made me miss working with the youth. I know that I have another calling right now though.Keian needs me more than ever.
I now see how the Lord works in all things. I realized today why Jessica was so head strong and indepedant. If she weren't she'd never survive in this house. She gets herself water and doesn't want help in the bathroom. She turns on th TV herself. Kyle wasn't like that at her age at all. He's finally starting to get that way. Only because we've pushed him.
Well I better get back to organizing the house.

We are back from the hospital tonight. Finally I have some quiet time to reflect. Lee is a nervous wreck and I worry about him as much as Keian. He is not coping well and getting sick again. I keep telling him he needs to take his medications like the doctors tell him to or he will just feel worse. In case you don't know he suffers from depression from a hit to the head. Let's just keep that between us...hahaha..he'd kill me if he knew I was writing this on here. I have decided not to with hold all the juck in our lives and make this prettier than it seems. I am keeping this for Keian too so he can know what he went through and what I am going through too when he gets older.
I am doing surprisingly well through all of this. Yes its hard with my many health concerns too but emotionally I think I need to be a rock for Lee. Not to say that I don't break down but I want him to realize I am there for him and I have faith Keain will be just fine. He really really needs that.
So we know have a suction machine, a nebulizer and a pump for feeding Keian. Looks like the doctor is going to add on an apnea machine for at night so if he aspirates we will know right away.
My house is a disaster! Being gone for 2 1/2 weeks in the hospital or appointments has really taken a toll on the house. The 16 and 17 year old girls are comming over to help me clean tonight. Some of them are going to help out with Jessica here at the house. It really will be nice to have an extra set of hands for her. She has been trying to make her own cookies lately. She gets out the prepackaged mixes a stick of butter and eggs and starts mixing it together. I really should post some more pictures of the kids. I know some of you don't get to see them very often.
I so appreciate all of the words of encouragement! I will be showing them to Lee. If you aren't leaving messages in the guest book please please do. If that is the only way you can help out. I appreciate the support and really need it right now.