I am exahsted! The never ending doctor appointments and the never ending needs of Keian are wearing me down. I just feel a little discouraged that there really isn't any help around with family. Sure I have my brother and two sisters here but they have lives of their own and families to take care of too. I have decided to look into respite care for Keian. Once he is approved for Social Security it should be paid for. I have an appointment about it in two weeks. I'm hoping until then maybe DSHS can help with it. I don't know though.
Last night was kind of bad and the fact that I am trying to keep a cold at bay is not helping. Keian last night started refluxing again. When he does this he starts choking on his spit and turning blue. He has to be watched like a hawk when this happens. I know his meds need to be adjusted. I talked to the pharmicist and she gave me a few suggested to talk to his doctor about.
I am down but I am thankful for my best friends the Waywells. They have been a true blessing through all of this. I can call them at a moments notice and they are there for me like family. I am also thankful for my children. Their smiles are what keeps me going. I love hearing Jessica come up to me and say,"Mom, I love you!" I love seeing Kyle so concerned about his brother's welfare. He has such a sweet heart about him. I love seeing Keian laugh and trying so hard to talk. The best things in the world are seeing your children grow up. I can't believe that they are all that I will be able have here on this earth. If my body could have taken it I would have had six more. I am thankful for my religion and knowing that know what happens with Keian, he is in the Lord's hands. I am thankful for a ward that steps in and helps out no matter what is asked of them. They are truely a blessing when it comes to this family. We would have never survived without the loving support, meals and advice given by our leaders. I am thankful for our home teacher that is so devoted to us that he will make it every month even if it is on the last day. I am thankful for our Preisthood leaders who have helped my husband cope with the stress of everything. I am thankful for the men who have come to give my son or me a blessing. I am thankful for the missionaries who come to our home and bring in the joy and spirt of the Lord. I am thankful they drag my husband out with them to teach the gospel to those that really need it in their live. I love seeing their hopefulness of life and newness of adulthood to make their own decisions. I love to see them growing spiritually and being an example to me to read and study the scriptures.
I am thankful for the mothers in out ward who step up and help out with Jessica when I just need a small break. I am thankful for the friends that I can call at a moments notice and say I need help!
Ok now I feel a lot better and not so discouraged with everything.